There are mornings when I wake up and I’m very sad, truly depressed. I think of the state of my country and the rut we’re stuck in. I think of the extreme poverty and suffering knowing that it can be stopped by a few. Then I think of my helplessness, how little I can do despite the fact that I long to do it. Those are the mornings when I cry, unfailingly.
Then there are the mornings when I wake up angry. I’m angry at the world, our past, our present, our circumstances, our bleak future. Those are the scary days when I am uncaring, hardened. On those days I think: well I didn’t mess it up, why should I be saddled with fixing it? If I spend so much time trying to fix the big for everyone, when will I fix the comforts I long for, for me? I simply want to shake off and untangle every string, every bond, everything Nigerian and walk away from it all.
There are also mornings when I wake up fatigued. I think of the enormous effort it will take just to make a dent of change and I think: I can’t do it! Its too much, I am but human: fallible, weak, mortal. I feel the urge to run, run far and run fast.
There are mornings I wake up with steely determination. I wake up with a bounce and I say to myself: I will change this country, I am willing to be the difference even if it kills me. These are the mornings I genuinely look forward to.
Most nights when I go to bed, I have no idea what kind of morning I am going to wake up to. I usually let fate decide but I secretly hope its option number 4.
My curse in life is to be dissatisfied, to always want better, to always demand for more. I am determined to not only do things well, but to do it right. I know I can do better, I only ask that you do better too.
If there is any genuine Nigerian right now who is satisfied with the status quo, that person is part of our problems. We need people dissatisfied, we need people wanting better, demanding for better, and acting better! The time it will take to come up with an excuse, is usually the same time it takes to come up with a solution.
So if you’re reading this today, I ask you for one thing: for anything you do: do it well, and do it right!